How will I raise a child? Can I be a good parent? What turns ordinary people into good parents? Panic overtook me and I felt an overwhelming desire to rush to the local bookstore to purchase loads of parenting books and magazines to learn how to become a good parent or call to my mom. But, after thorough thinking I looked at the problem with fresh mind. First of all it’s quite normal to wonder how good a parent you are. Perhaps you're worried that going out to work or being a lone parent will affect your child (if the situation is such).
You may worry about whether you're being firm enough, or whether you're giving your children what they need. We all hope to get it right and give a good balance of loving care and clear boundaries. Secondly, people are not born with good parenting skills; Parenting is a skill that is learned over a period of time. A good parent learns from their environment and passes what they have learned down to their children. Thirdly, a good parent is a person who is patient, kind, considerate, understanding, and helpful, a good listener, and a disciplinarian at the proper times.
Wisdom and patience are always helpful, too. Sometimes all you need to do is listen, while at other times you might have to step in and take action. And moreover, parents have their special healing powers - a kiss and calm words can soothe cuts, bruises and disappointments, (this very point I remember from my own experience, while being a child). Parenting is a twenty-four hour a day job. Anyone who has been there will tell you that it can be absolutely chaotic at times. This is when your good parenting skills are developed to their fullest potential.
Being a parent means creating a loving, safe environment for your children as they grow from baby to toddler, right through to the teenage years. You'll need different skills for each stage, but at all times your child will depend on you. You'll become the expert on your child and on what they need to grow into happy, healthy adults. Loving your child, with no strings attached, is the most important thing you can do. But you'll also have to make a huge number of decisions about the best way to bring up your child. This responsibility brings joy and excitement, but it can also be overwhelming, frustrating or even boring at times.
Most people manage these emotional and practical challenges with a mixture of love, help from relatives and friends, good advice, common sense and just luck. To my personal viewpoint, the first step in becoming a good parent is to realize that you are not perfect. No one is. You are going to make mistakes, some big, some small. The important thing is to realize what the mistake is and not repeat it. There's no one right way to parent and no perfect parent out there with all the answers. We all make mistakes. We all make bad decisions. There are times that we want to be selfish and put ourselves before our children.
The sign of a good parent is one that chooses to make their decisions with their children involved. True, there are some guiding ideas - all children need love and affection, to be kept safe and given limits on how they act, to be warm, fed, clothed and to have the opportunity to learn. To tell you the truth the best resource for successful child rearing is our own parents. For example, we should ask ourselves these questions;
How did my parent raise me?
Do I have good morals and values?
Did I have a happy childhood?
What method of discipline was used?
How attentive were my parents?
These are very important questions, and when we answer these questions, one or more of the answers may be negative. However, this is where common sense takes over. There will be things about the way we were raised that we liked and disliked. The areas that we did not like about the way we were raised can be turned around when we raise our own children. This is how, I think, we can develop into a good parent. Right now I would like to give some tips on how to become a good, loving parent. To tell you the truth, I am a little bit afraid to sound superficial, as I am not a parent yet. But, from another ide, I had enough experience of being a child. So, now when I am in my early twenties I can evaluate the way I was brought up by my parents. It is true, the older we are – the more we can understand our parents. Well, let’s pass on to the tips:
Recognize your child for the individual that they are. No two children are alike, and even though they may resemble you, they are not you. You may have a child that loves sports and one that can’t stand to be outdoors. We should consider the individuality of each child as a blessing and pursue ways to expand on that.
Discipline your child. That is not to say that you have to pk your child or beat them unmercifully. Choose the method that works best for your child. You are the adult in your relationship and should be the master manipulator.
Be involved in the schooling. Ask questions regarding how your child is performing and interacting with other students. Make sure that you are checking homework, but not doing it for the child. Ask your child questions about his/her day and find out what he likes and dislikes about his learning experience.
Celebrate the small things in a positive way. A good parent: Shows a child consistent and loving discipline.
Is supportive, excited and interested in what the child is doing (and wants to do). Allows a child to dream big dreams Teaches a child how to communicate in constructive, loving ways. Teaches a child how to deal with fear. Knows that the child's safety and well-being comes first. Does hard things if it will help the family. Is willing to learn from others -- including the child. Knows when to let a child become an adult. Doesn't ever stop trying to become a better parent. It goes without saying, being a good parent is a hard demanding task, but at the same time so interesting and fascinating.
Being a parent means passing all the stages of your child formation, such as the early hours of the morning when small children are refusing to sleep or teenagers are still out having fun. And what is more, at all these stages you must possess different skills and be an expert for your child; that is where high tolerance and endless patience are needed. The message I want to put across to the reader is that a loving, safe environment for our children as they grow from baby to toddler, right through to the teenage years is the best tool in upbringing a complete individual with his own self.
The love of a family is life's greatest blessing. A great responsibility lies on parents, as it is they who are guarantors of protection, positive emotions and safety. Being a parent will probably be the most rewarding thing you'll ever do - and the toughest responsibility. The joy of holding your newborn baby as he or she looks at the world for the first time can be magical. To my mind, having a child opens you up to emotions that are almost impossible to imagine in advance. And one more thing we should remember for ever, when we feel confident and positive, our children are more likely to feel that way, too.